So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
