Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize