well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
