Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
