i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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