i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.