tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster