The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
