I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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