So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
People in love make me want to vomit
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
