I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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