He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
