this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
