Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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(904): View more from Florida

You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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(513): View more from Ohio

2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.

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(509): View more from Washington

Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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(207): View more from Maine

cocks speak louder than words, as they say

(914): View more from New York

Nobody says that.

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(513): View more from Ohio

How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.

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(850): View more from Florida

A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now

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