And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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