1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
