my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
