Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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