Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
