She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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