another moral hangover. fuck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
