would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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