His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
