brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
