It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize