We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
