This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize