It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's never too late to be topless.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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