I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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