dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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