honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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