Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
