guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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