This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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