A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
