i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
