dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
