when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
