we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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