Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Michael Bay diarrhea
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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