Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
