She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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