Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
