We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I didn't notice because vodka
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
