you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
