It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
