My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
