so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
