I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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