Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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