what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
