bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
