remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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