My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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